Everyone has different points of view framed by their experiences. As we experience life, our point of view can change and expand. Many things have broadened my understanding of my world and community: my parents’ love and expectations for me, my friends who believe differently than I do, becoming a wife and mother, my career, and most importantly my faith. I’m blessed to have wonderful parents and some pretty great extended family who have provided an incredible example of love and compassion. I am also so thankful for my friends who are willing to challenge my point of view, listen when I explain mine, and help me to grow in Christ through a variety of avenues. I have an awesome husband who supports my goals and loves his children, community, and Christ. Although these factors may come up as I explain my current point of view, the next few may be more prevalent as I continue. I am the mother of three boys. As most parents, I pour a lot into my boys in hopes that they will grow into young men who love and respect those around them. There is so much that I worry about with my kids, and there is no break from parenting. While they are a ton of work and I worry often, they have helped me to understand love and the sanctity of life like no other experience can. I pray daily that my faith will shape my view of my community and each person who lives in it. If I’m successful, that means I show love even when it is difficult, I am willing to be uncomfortable to share Christ through displaying love and expressing the joy I have in Him, and standing firm in the truth even when it may be unpopular.
As for my career, I am an educator. More specifically I work in special education with students with severe behavior trouble. Of course, often times those students have autism or intellectual disabilities, but more often I work with kids with “invisible” disabilities. My favorite students are those with emotional/behavioral disorders. The ones who are often labeled as “bad” or who even lose their special education services because they are deemed to have “social maladjustment.” Although I have worked in two rural school districts, I have spent the majority of my time working within a school district that is fully on free and reduced lunch and depending on the school 50-70% black and 20-30% latino. These kids are my heart! So much so that my husband and I have decided to follow God’s calling to plant a church in the area to reach not only our students, but their families. I’d like to tell you some of the things I witnessed in my time in the classroom:
I’ve seen young girls note that it was time for them to start having babies because they were 12 now.
I’ve seen a 5 year old stick his hand into a rat hole in the wall of his classroom, have his hand covered with insulation, and be brushed off by the teacher because he didn’t follow directions.
I’ve heard language come from small children that doesn’t flow from most adults.
I’ve sat with a 19 year old who said I was the first teacher that actually made him feel like he could get through school.
I’ve watched as an 18 year old achieved only his second high school credit.
I’ve witnessed DFCS brush off major incidents involving my children.
I’ve witnessed conversations between my students on how to properly “knife” someone and discuss who was on a hit list for a gang.
I’ve assisted officers as they have sought out my students with active warrants.
I’ve counseled with my students after one of their neighbors shot and killed a beloved officer in our community.
I’ve sat through numerous meetings with lawyers and received a multitude of subpoenas.
I’ve sat with students who questioned why their fathers didn’t love them.
I’ve witnessed students as their lives were drained by drugs and/or HIV.
I’ve been cussed out and had things thrown at me more than most can imagine.
I’ve watched as my students moved from home to home, worried about where they would stay, or found them sleeping in front of the school door step.
I’ve worried insane amounts on days I was out sick because I knew the likelihood that my students could be arrested if I wasn’t there was often higher as others weren’t sure how to manage their behavior.
I’ve had to manage scheduling of students with an understanding of the gang terrorism act.
I’ve sat with a student multiple times as she mourned the murders committed by her family members.
I’ve had students leave class without permission to come to my room, because they knew it was a safe space.
I’ve seen my students move in and out of jail for various reasons. It often begins with truancy.
I’ve watched my students leave in an ambulance because they were a danger to their self or others.
I’ve seen students turned away from the hospital because the student had been too frequently.
I’ve seen a student with an IQ of 55 arrested and tried as an adult. Likewise, a student with autism, actively engaged in recidivism when a behavior analyst would have been the most appropriate way to treat his behavior.
I’ve seen a student nearly kill one of my co-workers.
I’ve mourned as my students were dehumanized over drug related arrests by internet onlookers who never met them.
I’ve dealt with knives at school and broken up fights.
I’ve seen kids hungry on a daily basis.
I have mourned as my students have been convicted of rape and murder.
This is just a brief synopsis of my experience. Most people ask why I do it? Let me tell you.
I’ve had a student who worked two jobs, maintained all A’s, was accepted to college, and took care of his little sister.
I’ve had multiple students who were incredibly gifted with technology.
I’ve heard the best jokes and received the best hugs.
I’ve had opportunities to share Christ with students who came to me with questions.
I’ve seen students grow and develop in their understanding of social issues.
I’ve seen kids that most people would be happy even took state tests not only pass, but exceed.
I’ve seen young men and women persevere through circumstances we couldn’t imagine.
I’ve seen the joy of families as students walked across the stage to receive a diploma.
I’ve seen young fathers step up to become great dads.
I’ve seen young men and women make different choices to better their lives.
Every second I have spent with these kids is more than worth it! I love them like my own, but my concerns and worries for my school babies are much different than my concerns for my own children. For my own children, I am mostly concerned about what choices they will make. While that weighs heavy on my mind, especially in times like these, I worry just as much about what will happen to my school babies. Their world is different and it is just down the street.
Today our nation woke up to the second senseless death in two days. It is horrifying! Officers have also since been lost. You know what, even though I know it happens across all ethnicities, I know that I worry and cry over the young, black men that I have taught. I think of specific faces and pray they are safe. Teacher friends, how do you check in on your students once they have moved on from your class? I find out how the majority of the young men I taught are by checking the weekly newspaper posting of mugshots. To know, that one move could be life or death in these encounters is heartbreaking. I really don’t know what else to say beyond this situation is horribly wrong.
It is so important to understand that standing up and saying this situation is wrong does not mean you are taking a single side. Honestly, actions like the ones we have seen, most often come from the outliers in any given group. I have some great friends who are officers, as many of you likely do. I would be lying if I didn’t say that I don’t worry for them often as well. One of these friends is an incredible example. He engages his community and loves on them often. He takes kids to job interviews, buys ice cream for the whole school, and counsels young men who don’t have anyone else to turn to. If all officers were like him we wouldn’t be dealing with this situation. We all know that is not the case and have seen it too many times (one time is too many). It shouldn’t give all officers a bad name, but it also doesn’t mean reforms aren’t needed. The reforms needed can enhance the officers’ safety as well.
Body cameras are a start. They hold officers accountable. They provide evidence when it is needed that can assist the officer in proving innocence or the court in a conviction. It can’t stop there though. It just can’t. It’s like telling teachers who have never worked with students with severe behaviors “we realize you are in a dangerous situation so we are going to put a camera in your classroom, but we don’t have the resources to train you to manage the behavior and respond to a crisis.”
There’s not been much attention to it, but in March 2016, a man named Anthony Hill was killed by officers in DeKalb County. Not only was he unarmed, but naked. He couldn’t even hide a weapon and clearly was dealing with mental illness. He comes to mind often. I can’t understand how as a teacher, I am trained to handle situations like these, often without the use of any restraint, and our officers don’t receive that same training. His life could have easily been spared with proper training. Eric Garner’s life could have easily been spared if officers listened to his concerns for his health, but not only that, if they had been trained to restrain with using the prone position. This restraint is illegal in schools and mental health services because of the danger involved. Why are we not training our officers. How, as a teacher, am I trained to manage a student that is considered dangerous, but anything goes for officers? Shouldn’t they be provided with the same training to ensure their safety and citizen safety? Think about those citizens with mental illness and developmental disabilities. Shouldn’t our officers know how to respond? Some law enforcement agencies use these trainings, and guess what? It works.
Many of you will still stand and question, what about black on black crime? Benjamin Watson had some really great words about this. I suggest you go check it out. Beyond that, let me ask you… what are YOU doing about black on black crime? Have you gone to the communities? Have you tried to understand the differences between your community and a place like (fill in the blank with whatever violence ridden city you’d like)? You have? Good, make a list of the things you think the community needs and GET TO WORK! We can complain on black on black crime, but if we aren’t stepping in to teach students in the violence ridden communities about other choices and providing some resources to help them access the time and safety to think about these options we just need to shut up. If you haven’t visited one of these communities, IT IS TIME. Let me tell you, there is a shortage of resources. Shelters are full, mentors are needed, effective teachers are needed, people to teach the kids skills they can use to contribute to society are needed, food is needed. The list is endless. I know you have a skill that you can use to begin assisting in the healing process for these neighborhoods.
You’re worried about abortion rates in the black community? It’s heartbreaking across all ethnicities. Here’s the thing though, what are you willing to do to support these children? Are you willing to adopt? Are you willing to foot the bill? Are you willing to step in? I’m not saying that the community not doing their part justifies abortion rates. Not at all. What I am saying, is you say these lives matter, but then turn your backs on them. In my community at the beginning of the school year, 255 foster placements were needed and only 25 homes were open in the county. What are YOU willing to do? Also, do the lives only matter from womb to birth? What about when they are 13, 16, 18, 20? What if they have committed a crime? A murder even? #alllivesmatter
Christians… I’m talking to you specifically now. I am speaking as one of you. You cannot remain silent. Period. If your brothers and sisters tell you they are hurting and scared it is time to stand up and love them and care for them. Talk to your brothers and sisters in Christ and engage them in dialogue about their experiences. It’s eye opening and humbling. If you don’t understand, at least be willing to ask and to LISTEN. Get involved in your communities and other local communities that are in need. When you’re online, think before you post. I’ve been carefully crafting this response for hours, both in my head and on paper. Understand that when you are speaking about other people, even those who just seem to be a picture online, they are daughters and sons, fathers and mothers, etc. They have families and loved ones. They have an incredible God (that despite whether or not they have accepted Him) that loves them and they were made in His image. How would you feel if someone talked about your family the way some have disparaged those who have died in the past few days and the officers? It’s time to pray, wake up, and work y’all.
“Whoever compels you to go one mile, go with him two.” Matthew 5:41
At Second Glance 